Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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