Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
