Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
