I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
