i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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