Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
