So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
