the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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