Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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