Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i love accidental penises.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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