So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
