Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
