It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
