I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Who wears a wallet chain?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
