He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
