i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Alive.
So much puke
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
