Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
