I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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