but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There r osticjed everywhere
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
