people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
