They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
