Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
