we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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