So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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