Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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