I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
