thus making me awesome and them whores
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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