In America we eat man semen.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
