That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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