is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
