Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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