If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
