yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
