Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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