Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
