Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
