Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
