butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
