i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
