"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
