I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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