Will you blow on my dice?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
