What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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