you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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