Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
