I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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