He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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