No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
