I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
