Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How does one acquire holy water?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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