Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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