It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
